I have always been a little impatient with people and their kids. How they think everything the little darlings do is genius. I'm not a huge fan of other people's kids. I have to know them and form some sort of attachment before you will see me playing on the floor with them. And along came my niece and nephew and another niece after that. I fell for them hard and before I knew it I was playing "princess pocahontas" and "attack of the dinosaurs" like a fool. See above. Little Ben and I were in the middle of intense animal games. I got to spend a few days with these little guys a few weeks ago. Loved every dramatic minute:) 

Only these little ones could get me out into this snowstorm to play. 

Happy Birthday Avery! I hope when you are older you will appreciate how Grandma and I almost died driving through 7 hours of blizzard to make it for your special day! 

Doesn't she have the best hugs?

 And the best surprise face?

 This was my favorite. Ben and I were having an intense conversation about...Cheetahs? ... Monsters? No...  MY HOUSE. I love it. I want to hear all about their interests and their lives but I'm so surprised at how curious they are about my interests and my life. They ask me questions all the time. Read him a story and Ben will ask if I have that book at my house. Eat some food and Avery will ask if I eat it where I live. In this riveting conversation Ben wanted to know what my bed was like, what kind of food I had, and when he could come and visit. Anytime little love! Anytime! He also wondered if we could get a little bed for him at my house. Avery wanted to know why I didn't have a husband. I'll let that slide since she's 4 but there is only so long I can justify my life choices to a 4 year old. 

 And then, when we were done with that... we took to the cake

 With single minded devotion

With matching looks of concentration. Maybe it runs in the family...

So I'm trying to figure out this blogging thing and the thing is... It's harder than I thought. Before I was like "YEAH! Just throw some stuff around and move some stuff here and upload a whole bunch of photos and all done!" No one I talked to about this mentioned that I would need a degree in graphic design or perhaps 1-2 years in photoshop school.  I always sort of figured I was half computer savvy. Not a complete idiot but not near genius either. Give me a few minutes I could prod around and generally figure things out. Turns out that I could have been wrong about this my entire life. It seems that the entire world and their dog has been blogging with ease and here I am struggling to figure out where the header is in my page. That bad. I didn't even think about the technical side of this already daunting venture. I was just worried about the writing part. But here I am... an hour in of "prodding around" and I am stuck with "wallpaper" on my page that is just unacceptable. That isn't even the worst part. The worst part is the big obnoxious advertisements on the top of my page now... HOT BLIGGITY BLOG!!! Did you catch that? How could anyone miss it? I feel like that little emblem is going to explode into little tiny square dancers and take over my page.  No free wallpaper download is worth that humiliation. I don't know how to get rid of it. Sinking my face into my hands in despair hasn't helped so if anyone out there has suggestions I would appreciate it. There are only so many desperate phone calls I can make to little sisters, in the middle of the night,  to ask mundane questions about blogging. The last time I had to ask my little sister such a question she told me to first go to my "dashboard page" and I had to google it. I HAD TO GOOGLE IT! Now come on. I once had a pair of underpants drop out of my jacket at early morning RELIGION CLASS when I was 15...there on the floor for everyone to see, and the shame of this is still on par with that. What will your little siblings ever look up to you for when you have to ask them something like that? So the point is... I'm struggling with this. 

I'm also struggling with regularity in case you haven't noticed. The blogging kind. 3 weeks between posts is not a good sign me thinks. I am fighting this with everything I've got. I can find a million things to do to not write for my blog. Cleaning AND working out have both suddenly taken priority in life. That would be a good thing if they weren't used for an avoidance technique. I do think it's getting better though... Now I look at things and occasionally I think "hey that would be good to post on my blog". And then I don't post it. But the point is I'm thinking of posting it. 

Ugh. Pray for me. 

I didn't mean to publish the last one yet! How do I do corrections and then re-publish? Leah? Kate? Help!  Dagnabit... Stupid blogging.

I was just reading an article about this woman's most gorgeous travels. There was the sea and the sand and oozing papayas and brilliant limes and avocado smeared onto bread and red bikinis and hammocks and everything else that I hope is in heaven or I don't want to go there. I don't even want to post a link to her blissful vacation because I'm too jealous and childish. Oh alright... here it is. 

I experienced a tidal wave of envy that hasn't happened since I met a girl in Rome who, over a cappucinno, informed me that she had won a grant to travel around Europe and - get this - "observe and write about the behavior of people traveling around Europe". Ha Ha... "Isn't that wild?" she beamed. She was actually sitting there and getting paid to have a coffee with me under a Roman arch, in what had become my most favorite city in the world. I had a week left on my trip and about $27 in my bank account and was trying to figure out if one could subsist on water and gelato only for the remainder of my time. I was also trying to figure out what crazy Dr. Seuss land this girl came from where they handed out party favors of such magnitude. I mean seriously...

But back to the point. The point being that I am very jealous. So jealous that I'm still scowling and have just finished looking up last minute flight deals to anywhere with a beach or a colluseum. This is one of the blessings and burdens of being unemployed.  On the one hand, I'm pretty much free to take off whenever I want and see the world! On the other hand I can pretty much spend all my money to take off and see the world with no prospect of any gainful employment for when I come back and o my gosh I can't buy food!  I have thought about this dilema a lot and the travel keeps winning out. I can't help it. I feel the most beautiful weight of the world when I travel. I don't know how else to describe it. All I know is that when I step off a train or a plane into a land I have only seen in photos, I have to bite my lip to keep the tears from taking over. Sometimes I don't even try to stop them. It's a spiritual thing. Not everywhere provokes this reaction mind you. The feeling varies but that awe is always there a little.  But no where will put me over the edge more than a land with thousands of years of history that is still in plain site. Ruins, castles, cobblestone stairways and marble sculptures will get me every time. When I stood at Isabella's bedroom window at the Segovian Castle in Spain, all I could think was that this is where she took refuge just before she was made Queen. The King had died and the crown was in question and in this very room she probably paced. And how many countless times since had she stood at that window? I am the first to admit my imagination does get going:) 

 A few months ago I caught a clip of the movie The Motorcycle Diaries. I have never seen the whole movie but now I would really like to. The scene I caught on t.v. was perfect. The main character was looking out over Machu Piccu, the lost city of the Incas. I had just been there and he said something that described my thoughts perfectly when I had stood looking at the same crumbling city. "How can I feel nostalgia for a world I never knew?"

And oh the tears came. I mean who writes this stuff and can I marry them? 

Anyway I'm looking forward to my next trip. I don't know when and I don't know where but hopefully someday I... oh wait. I am going to Mexico in April. OK, so I know when and where. It doesn't have quite the same pull as Italy but I'll take it. 

Until next time...